Before I start this post, I know I haven't posted in a while. Truth be told, I tried. I just haven't had much inspiration lately. But now I have some, so I get to blog.
Let me be honest with you. One of my biggest flaws is that I'm quite irritable and am easily angered. I almost never let it show around my friends because I don't like to complain to them, especially when I know that they're having bigger problems. Yet somehow, even when I know my parents are going through some problems, nothing stops me from opening my big mouth and expressing my anger. But right now, it's hard finding the words to say.
If you live out of state, you might not know that at the moment, Colorado is being flooded. We got more showers than expected and as a result, there has been water freely flowing through certain towns. The results have been devastating. As I type, there's an estimated six dead and over seven hundred unaccounted for. Some families have lost everything but their lives. Water is becoming unsafe to use in certain places due to it being contaminated by waste. And, of course, there are plenty of people who have been injured because of debris.
My family has been extremely blessed. We have food, water, shelter that's completely dry, and even electricity. I have absolutely no reason to be angry. But I am.
Why? Because this is still going on. Because even with the people who have died or lost their possessions or can't get to clean drinking water, this is still going on. And we can't stop it. There's nothing stopping this downpour except God Himself. And that is why I'm angry.
I don't get angry at God often. I owe so much to Him. He's what pulled me through every single thing that I've been through. But I've also been asking, "Why is this happening? Why is it raining now? Why are people dying? Why are so many people terrified? Why, why, why, why, why?!"
And it doesn't stop there. My anger has extended to certain people online as well. Yes, people I haven't even met. Because they've been complaining about rain. I've been tempted to be condescending and say, "Well, your rain hasn't killed people." Because all that's happened is that maybe their hair got a little damp. But the anger directed at them is sinful too, even if I'm not taking it out on anyone.
I don't even get why I'm feeling so emotional about this either. More lives were taken after the Danube River was poisoned with cyanide around thirteen years ago. More lives were taken after the city of Chernobyl was declared unsafe to live in because of radiation (and still is unsafe). More lives were taken in both World Wars. So why am I getting so upset over this? I didn't even cry when the Aurora shooting happened. I was upset, but I didn't cry. Whereas today, I just couldn't hold it in while thinking about it.
I have no reason to be angry at God. He can do what He wants and He has reasons for it. And I don't have reason to be angry at those people either. None of this is their fault. But I'm a Christian, and no Christian is perfect. Does that excuse my anger? No. But at least I know that with my very human mistakes comes perfect grace and forgiveness from God. And at least it can't flood forever.
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