Pain

These past couple of days have not been easy for me.  In fact, it's been quite the opposite.  My poor parents have been doing so much to take care of me and it worries me to see others worried about me.  Even my sister, who has no idea what the heck is going on, is concerned.  But it makes me feel so blessed to know that these people care so much for me.  I am especially blessed for my parents, who have done so much for me.  They even sat down and watched My Little Pony with me despite the fact that they loathe that show with a fiery passion.  Gotta love them.
But if I haven't felt a need for Jesus before, I'm definitely feeling it now.  It's so easy to just slip away and not trust in God, but to cling to Him for protection is the thing I need most.  Reliance on other things is going to make the situation worse, not better, so I need to have confidence that He will take this pain from me eventually, whether it takes a day or fifty years.
That said, I'm considering it a blessing to feel this kind of pain.  I don't mean to say this in a boastful way, but the King wouldn't entrust this pain to me if He knew I couldn't handle it.  It's kind of a huge honor.  I feel like He has plans to take it and transform it into something beautiful.  It's happened before - not just to me, but to people all around me.
I am so excited for the end of this - not just for the pain to be over, but to see what it turns into.  See how God uses it.  The very idea of the Lord using me for His purpose just fills me with such joy that I can't even describe it.