Friday, February 10, 2012

People

As you most likely know, I am a girl.
What does this mean?  If you follow the stereotype, it means I don't shut up and just talk.  And talk.  And talk.
Sadly, it's a bit true.  I love to vent, ramble, whatever.  But I don't think I'm to blame.  Part of it is because I have a lot of different interests and when I'm really, really interested in something, I have to talk about it.  There was a time where, on the way to the airport to pick up my grandmother, I yakked my mom's ear off about trumpet mouthpieces.  I manged to spend so much time informing her of something that will probably never be of any use to her (and probably doesn't interest her in the slightest).  The other part of it is because of people.  Sometimes good people.  But often bad.  Today, various people just made me feel especially icky.  I do not like that icky feeling.  People are rarely the cause, but today they were.  It's not the most pleasant feeling.
Anyway.  I am very cynical.  Again, I am not to blame for this; my parents are.  It makes me sort of admire people that are overly-optimistic and bubbly and charismatic because I'm not that kind of person.  Sometimes I like interacting with strangers for my own personal amusement (today I applauded someone who was singing something random, saying, "Yay!  Woot!" at school), but I really don't like talking to them.  I'm a total introvert.  There are even times where I prefer spending time in my own little world rather than talking to friends.  (Sorry, guys.  I still love you.)
I've gotten better.  For example:
That was me when I was 10.  Back then, I was shy.  Super shy.  As in, it was a miracle if you could get a word out of me.
This is a photo of me from last summer.  Five years passed and I turned into a person who's willing to speak her mind when necessary (yes, even in front of strangers).  I also became a geek and a metalhead.  My Colorado peers probably had something to do with this.
I still hate talking to new people, though.  This also includes other things: I despise oral presentations, group projects, and anything else that involves me working with people (I often participate in discussions, PMs, and other things on forums, but that's something entirely different - at least, in my opinion).
The people that usually get me worked up are politicians, celebrities, and various people at school.  Always a different reason.  I usually don't whine too much about people to my friends.  My poor mother and father are usually the ones that sit through rants, improvised speeches, etc.  I'm surprised they haven't used any duct tape or a gag on me yet.  I'm sure it would be helpful for when my mouth gets going faster than my brain.  (I'm slow, guys, and when I'm around family, I have a big mouth.  I talk a lot to them.)  I sometimes rant to my brother, but he doesn't rant like I do.  I also don't think he has the patience to listen to me go on and on about a certain subject.  (I don't blame him one iota.)  I, of course, can't rant to my sister, as she is only five and does not know about most of this kind of stuff and shouldn't have to.
But there are good people, too.  I remember that one or two weeks ago, another trumpeter and I were practicing in the hallway by the auditorium.  Some random girl came up to us, asked us to play, and praised us.  The fact that she took the time to do that amazes me.  And it really helped what had been a crappy day. 
Today, I was also reading a post on Chicks on the Right.  I left a comment, leaving my mini-rant for all the world to see.  At the end of the comment, I stated that I will never, ever have kids (only makes sense if you read the post and watch the video).  Some random woman commented, saying that I am a "smart young lady" (which means a lot to me considering the fact that I don't think of myself as the sharpest tool in the drawer); she also said that I shouldn't rule out kids because "children are a reflection of love" and "we need to have more little conservatives!"
For the record, I do not have a ton of patience for kids and the very idea of trying to raise them scares the living daylight out of me.  But her comment still meant a lot to me and it brightened my mood considerably.
People in general make me sigh, cringe, groan, and they often make me want to weep.  However, there are sometimes good people out there, people that are willing to put others above themselves and take time out of their day to help someone.  Those are the people that make me smile.

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